This is another e-mail that I got that I thought was well worth repeating.

Near Fredericksburg, Texas, there is a large German-speaking population.
A farmer walking down a country road notices a man drinking from his
pond with his hand.

The farmer shouted:  'Trink das wasser nicht. Die Kuhen haben darin
gescheissen.' (Translation:  Don't drink the water. The cows have shit in it.)

The man shouted back: 'I'm from  New York and just down here
campaigning for Obama,I can't understand you.  Please speak in English.'

The farmer replied:  'Use two hands, you'll get more.'

h/t - Unkawill